http://jalopnik.com/5872462/watch-an-insane-trucker-drift-his-tanker-truck?tag=lolcars

H/T Patty Golden, who is a sick dog for reading stuff like this!

It's with great pleasure that I announce ….. it's that time again…..The Darwin Awards are out! These Annual Honors are given to the persons who did the human gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid ways.

You may recall that last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out.

This year's winner was a genuine Rocket Scientist…that's no bull! Read on…and remember that each and every one of these is a true story. The nominees were:

Semifinalist #1

A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. The resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both he and his sister.

Semifinalist #2

Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.

Semifinalist #3

A 22-year-old Reston, VA man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the concrete," Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was "Major trauma."

Semifinalist #4

A man in Alabama died from numerous rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend – no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate – was hospitalized, but lived.

Semifinalist #5

Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''especially bright'' by his peers.

And now the winner of this year's Darwin Award; as always, awarded posthumously;

THE 2011 WINNER!

Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.

Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off…actually a solid-fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!

The facts as best could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location.

The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds.

The driver, and soon-to-be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event.

However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable.

Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.

Really…..we couldn't make this stuff up.

People like these are all around us. They have kids and they vote!

My advice is exactly the opposite of theirs, however.  Nicole Foss continues to tell people to get out of debt, but that simply helps bail out the banks – not the 99%.  Ashvin's commentary made that pretty clear in the last post.

My suggestion is that you pull all your 'bubble' money out of your home at 3% and, when the bubble bursts, demand an accommodation from the lender which reflects a mark-to-market of your loan.  If they refuse, walk away and use the cash to buy another home at 80% off.  Sure that's gaming the system, but the system is gaming you.  You can't win, but you can cut your losses and their profits.  Once you have been sold into slavery, as seems to have happened, playing by someone else's rules no longer makes sense.

I didn't do that – exactly.  I took my 'bubble' money out and bought non-titled durable goods which are increasing in value faster than my home is losing value.  And which I can use or barter as required.  I have no idea why people are still buying precious metals but I hope they keep running the price up.  I don't own any but when THAT bubble bursts I can have all I want for a couple of meals – If I want any at all.  So far I don't – except one old 1883 silver dollar I've kept for years as a keepsake. 

The difference between Paganism and Christianity is that Paganism doesn’t require you to kill witches and gays, or to kill unruly children, or to stone your daughter or wife for ‘playing the whore’ or to stick awls through your slaves’ ears, or pretend that the kool-aid and cracker you get at Mass turns to Jesus’ flesh and blood in your mouth.

I’m pretty sure that Jesus was using hyperbole at the last supper when he used bread and wine as examples of how to remember Him when people partake of them.  I think He said to eat these things  ’in remembrance of me’….not “Eat Me”.   I mean, He wasn’t hacking off His body parts and passing them around the table.

OK, so the Mormons are probably all terrorist suspects because they keep a years’ supply of food stockpiled – but that somehow makes a lot of sense to me.  At least they don’t think their imaginary pal in the sky is a chicken nugget.

It’s simpler that that, Newt.  Marriage, in the Bible, and in your newly-adopted Catholic religion is between A man and A woman.  Not between you and all your staffers one at a time.  Even Callista would be down the road if you hadn’t had that $500,000 credit line at Tiffany’s for her – and God knows how much she has spent on plastic surgery. That ‘surprised’ look she totes now is a bit disconcerting.  Maybe mining moon dust will pay the bills – Romney’s taxes sure won’t.

This is the worst election year in American history.  There are no good choices and there aren’t even any bad choices.  The LAPD and army are conducting joint urban warfare exercises over LA.  The Constitution is shredded.  The country has no friends left and is bankrupt – and when corporations became people, people became ants.

150 MILLION American are now up-armed.  100 MILLION of us are former military.  We aren’t going to be marched into eternal poverty for the likes of you one-percenters.

The Bible isn’t a coloring book. You can’t simply choose the parts you like – it’s all or nothing. Killed any witches or gay people lately? If your daughter isn’t a virgin, have you stoned her for ‘playing the whore’? Or did you sell her in time? Bought any slaves recently? No?  Quit slacking!  Get out there and follow Scripture!